I am obsessed with tech and social networking, an avid Googler, a chronic thinker, UX and UI enthusiast, passionate about almost anything, minesweeper addict, can always be found on GTalk and yes gentle at heart.Read more about me on my about page. You can also read my Vellapanti. Google Plus.

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When the phamous make resolutions

Update: This post was featured in paper.li the twitter newspaper in the hilarious and #satire tag on 10-1-2011. This is my second consecutive post to be featured in http://paper.li As it is a paper and changes every day I took a snap shot and uploaded it on Blog's fanpage. You can see the snapshot here and here.

Resolutions at the start of the year are to be broken and made again at the year end. - Me

The year 2010 has ended only to stay in our memories - for some it would be for good reasons and for some it would be for bad reasons. More than half of the globe's making resolutions so...

here are some of the New Year Resolutions (most of which will not break) that some of the phamous and inphamous people might have made.

The world begins with love and ends with money ;) Money is everything and hence I pour my love to and we begin with the richest Indian. Don't agree with me on the money part? Then make some donations in my PayPal account so that I can buy a domain for this blog. :p

Good ol' days
Mukesh Ambani: Enough of this fight with Anil, now its time to stop. I will gift Anil, a house larger than mine on this Diwali, (if you call that a house), in Manhattan. :)

Anil Ambani: Everything that is big should be mine, even the richest Indian is my BEEIG Brother and Big B is my friend; hence this year I will buy out everything that is big - Big Boss, Big Brother, big.com, etc. But I will not buy Big Bazaar as it is bigger than my Big Companies and for it I'll have to take loan from Mukeshbhai. :(

Kokilaben Ambani: Aa Chokarao nu kaik karvu padshe. (Something must be done with the boys.)

We all Love you
Justin Beiber: I am the most followed person on Twitter after Lady Gaga and will even surpass her in a few months. Twitter had to remove my name from list of trending topics as it was there for months.I have nine times more fans on FaceBook than Mark Zuckerbeg himself. Moreover I am still 16. But still Time magazine chose Mark Zuckerberg as the person of the year, even Julian Assange (or Sachin) would have been fine. Hence I'll make sure that I am Time's person of the year 2011. (this one was inspired from @fakingnews.)

Mark Zuckerberg: Thankgod that Randi forwarded this message from the future (what? future?) to me - "Once Mark Zuckerberg was hospitalized . . . why . . . coz Rajnikant poked him on facebook." Now I must find out who the hell is Rajnikant. Bing does not reveal much and I can not use Google because of the on going war with them, moreover I did not find any account of Rajnikant on facebook. I wish I hadn't fought with the Big G. Until I figure out how can Rajnikant poke me so dangerously I will not use FaceBook.

Img by Manjul
His Majesty Manmohan Singh: This year I will concentrate all my Pawars (Powers) in decreasing the food inflation especially Onion. To hell with 2G, Aadarsh scam. Let Madamji and Pranab Babu deal with them.

BJP, INC and other political parties: Just follow what has been done in the past - corruption, corruption, corruption, ... and blame someone for it- and do nothing else.

Surma Bhopali: Win the Indian Idol nothing else.

Kalmadi - Raja Duo: Get a Permanent Passport (if there is such thing) in China and Pakistan, they love people who make scams worth lakhs of crores of rupees of hard earned money paid in taxes by the aam aadmi in India.

Sheila Dikshit will make sure
this never happens with her
Shelia Dikshit: With the help of Kalmadi and Raja I will produce a remake of Dabangg and Tees Mar Khan both combined in one. The item song will be Munni Ki Jawaani so that everyone forgets Sheila ki Jawani - I should no more be badnam, the CWG are enough for me.

Shera (The Common Kalmadi's Wealth Games' Mascot): Kalmadi and Co. laundered all the money and they didn't think of me and my clan - the national animal of India, the mascot of CWG. :( Hence this year I will raise money for the Save the Tiger (Not Tiger Woods) Campaign. By the way I have still not understood how a guy sitting in Chennai will "Save the tiger" by just taking a pledge. Every school kid says pledge every day and considers all Indians as his brothers and sisters but still marries the girl next door.

AajTak and India TV: This year we will take the level of reporting to deeper levels - reporting levels lower than Mariana Trench. (If you didn't get it then ask someone wise to explain it to you :p).

Big Boss: I will invest all the earnings of previous four seasons and in the next season to invite the forgotten holy celebs such as Paris Hiton, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Britney Spears, JLo. If Pamela can do it when all these would definitely break all records. And the Indian celebs like Tabbu, Manisha Koirala, Priety Zinta, and many others for the sake of Indian Ness.

Raj Thackeray: Start a campaign to rename Maharashtra to 'Jai Maharashtra', this way all of world would praise Maharashtra willingly or unwilling. Jai Maharashtra.

Inspiration behind Credit Card Mala
Img by Satish Acharya
Mahamahim Mayawati Bhenji: Wear a Gucci designed Garland, or a Roberto Cavalli - if he demands more, made entirely of Citibank's fraudulent credit cards. Nothing beats credit cards when it comes to shirnking money without diminishing its value

Aamir Khan:  I will make sure that after the success of Dhobi Ghat, just like 3idiots, all the credit is given to me, not even to Kiran. And Prateik's  name should appear in the rolling credits only.

Osama bin Laden: Make my this article true. ;)

Now how can you forget me? I will post twice a month. That's it and I expect this resolution to break somewhere near March or April ;)

Share your opinions regarding the above and what are/were your resolutions? And when do you expect them to break?
Hey you! Yes you, if you liked this post then please comment below, like it, share it, tweet it, Plus +1 it and make my day. :)